Family Moments
by silvermoongirl10
Summary: Family moments between Danny and Jamie to see why Joe had to become their bridge, spans from Jamie's birth to the end of season 2. Please R&R.
1. 24th April 1986

**A/N** in the later chapters Nikki, Jack and Sean won't be appearing as I just wanted it mainly with just Danny and Jamie but also I couldn't work out the ages of Danny, Erin, Joe and Jamie very well, but a friend says Jamie must be about 26 in season 2 (she knows how long people spend in law school and in one of the season 2 episodes Erin states Jamie finished law school three years ago) and I wanted Jamie and Danny to be close enough in age that when they were younger means they could be very close. Anyway on with the story!

When 5 year old Joe, 8 year old Erin and 10 year old Danny came downstairs on Saturday morning instead of finding their parents in the kitchen they found their Grandpa Henry, who had just put the phone down.

"Hi Grandpa" said Danny,

Henry turned around and smiled at his three grandchildren, "hi kids".

Joe wandered over to Henry and tugged on his trousers leg and asked "Grandpa where's Ma and Pa?" Henry bent down and picked up Joe and said "well that was your dad on the phone, he had to take your mom to the hospital last night and called me and your Grandma, so your Grandma went to the hospital with them and I came to look after you three."

"Is mom ok Grandpa?" asked Erin nervously, Danny put an arm around his sisters shoulders as both he and Erin knew that their younger brother and sister wasn't due until another month. Henry saw Erin's and Danny's nervous looks at each other and said "she's fine so is your little brother" Erin's and Danny's faces broke into huge grins and Joe squealed in delight.

Joe spun to face Danny and said "did you hear Danny? Did you? We've got a little brother!" Henry put Joe down and instructed the three of them to go get dress because their mother wanted to see them and wanted them to meet their younger brother. Danny had to catch his balance after Joe tour through the kitchen and living room on his way to the stairs all the while shouting "I have a little brother!" Danny smiled and shook his head fondly as he left the kitchen he heard Henry say to Erin,

"What's wrong Erin sweetheart? Are you upset that you didn't get a little sister?"

"No Grandpa I didn't mind if I had a brother or a sister. It's that now I'm going to have _three_ brothers playing cops and robbers!" moaned Erin. Henry laughed and nudged Erin towards the stairs.

#########

Henry, Danny and Erin were waiting at the front door for Joe to come down stairs, when he did Henry said "Joe you have an odd pair of socks"

"I know Grandpa but I couldn't find the others". Danny sighed it was more likely Joe couldn't find one sock and instead of taking off the one sock he did have of that pattern he just put a different sock on from another pair.

"Well I'm not taking you out with an odd pair of socks Joseph Regan"

"_Grandpa!_"

"It's ok I was joking Joe!"

"Well it wasn't funny!"

"You sure Joe? Because I thought it was"

"Shut up Danny!"

"Ok enough! Come on your mother wants you there soon".

#########

Danny had just been given his youngest brother to hold, because as soon as Joe walked into the room he had insisted on holding his new brother first. Henry had then held him and then Erin. Danny looked down at his new brother he had dark blonde hair sticking out from underneath the blanket he was wrapped up in and he had pink rosy cheeks. His new brother had yet to open his eyes; Danny looked up at his parents and said "what are you going to call him?"

Frank looked at his eldest who was lovingly holding his youngest son unaided. "Well Danny we decided on calling him Jamison Henry Reagan" Henry looked touched that his youngest grandson was partially named after him.

Danny looked down at Jamison and said "Jamison, that's an ok name but I think for short we should call him Jamie". Just then Jamie opened his eyes, his eyes were the bluest Danny had ever seen and Jamie was looking right up at him and looked as if he was smiling. Danny looked up at Frank and said "I think he likes me calling him Jamie". When the family were all talking about who Jamie mostly looked like Danny looked back down at Jamie and whispered "I'm going to be the best big brother to you ever, even better than Joe, and I'm going to look after you so well no one will ever pick on you, and that's a promise Jamie".


	2. First word

Jamie was now 9 months old and had begun to crawl; the family was sat in the living room enjoying their family time together. For the past week it seemed Jamie was starting to try and say words so the family had been trying to get Jamie to try and say their name. For Danny it seemed like the family was having a contest on whose name Jamie would say first. Danny himself hadn't been trying to get Jamie to say his name; he figured Jamie would do it in his own time. Danny went into the kitchen to get himself a drink and spotted Jamie crawling after him. He bent down and picked Jamie up while saying "hey there kid what you doing?"

"Mmmm" replied Jamie while smiling up at Danny,

"Oh really, well that sounds like fun". Danny walked back into the living room intending on going back for his drink, but he didn't want to risk dropping Jamie or the drink.

Mary looked around at Danny and said "Danny would you take Jamie up to bed for me?"

"Sure thing mom" Danny was sure his mother knew his secret, that he secretly enjoyed putting Jamie to bed, even after Jamie had gone to sleep Danny would stay awhile and watch Jamie in his peaceful slumber. As Danny was turning towards the stairs Jamie tugged on his shirt.

"What is it kid?"

"Dwany" everyone in the room froze and turned to look at Danny and Jamie, Danny had his mouth open in disbelief and Jamie had a huge grin because he knew he had done something special.

"Did he just say what I think he said?" asked Frank,

"Well if you think that our son's first word was Danny then yes Frank dear he just said what you thought he said" replied Mary as she smiled, but she didn't look away from Jamie and Danny. Silence then followed for a little while but it was broken by…

"Dwany"

Danny shook himself out of his resolve and smiled at Jamie "way to go kid".

"Dwany! Dwany! Dwany!" chanted Jamie, it was like he wanted the whole family to know that he had said his eldest brother's name and it was no mistake.

"Ugh! Is that all he can say?" moaned Joe, he had so desperately wanted Jamie's first word to be _his_ name and what made it worse was that Danny hadn't even been saying his name in front of Jamie for like ten times in a row.

"Dwany!"

"By the looks of things yes Joe 'Dwany' is all Jamie can say" replied Erin.

########

Danny had then taken Jamie up to bed, as he settled Jamie down Jamie looked up at him and said "Dwany".

Danny smiled, "yes Jamie I heard you the first 50 times, but it doesn't mean I'm any less proud of you every time you say it".

"Dwany"

Danny laughed "it doesn't matter how many times you say it you are going to go to sleep soon Jamie".

"Dwany?" Jamie looked up at Danny, Danny sighed Jamie was already starting to perfect the puppy dog eyes look.

"Dwany"

"Jamie" said Danny while copying their mother's 'look', Jamie got the message and shut his eyes and for one last time murmured "Dwany". Which left Danny grinning like a Cheshire cat.


	3. First steps

Jamie had had his first birthday two weeks ago and was playing with one of his puzzles with Danny. Jamie was now able to call everyone by their names, but he still wasn't able to say Danny's name right, but Danny didn't mind as his name was the first Jamie had said. The family was waiting anxiously for Jamie to take his first steps, but Jamie had other ideas as he was quite content to crawl around or have someone carry him. Danny sighed his family still hadn't taken the hint from when trying to get Jamie to talk, they were encouraging Jamie to walk towards them and again Danny was the one who was letting Jamie take it at his own pace.

Danny's stomach started to rumble; he looked over at Jamie and said "I'll be back in a minute kid".

As Danny walked away Jamie called out "Dwany! Puzzle!"

"I'll just be a minute Jamie"

"Dwany!"

Danny spun around to tell Jamie he'll just be a minute, when as he turned around his mouth dropped open because Jamie had stood up and was slowly walking towards him.

"Mom! Dad!"

"What is it Danny?" called Mary from the kitchen.

"Jamie's walking!"

Just then Frank and Mary ran out from the kitchen and Erin and Joe ran down the stairs. Jamie suddenly looked bewildered that the whole family had run into the living room.

Jamie just pointed his finger at Danny and said "Dwany puzzle", Danny was about to complain to Jamie that he was going to come back when he realized he had one of the puzzle pieces in his hand. He held the piece out to Jamie who took it and wandered back to the rest of the puzzle. He then started to find where the piece went while the rest of the family watched on in stunned silence.

Joe then let out a frustrated sigh "why does Jamie talk first and walk first for Danny?"

Danny smirked at Joe and said "guess I'm just the better big brother Joe" and before Joe could reply Jamie looked up and said "Dwany puzzle"

"Ok ok kid I'm coming" replied Danny as he went to sit next to Jamie and helped him with his puzzle.


	4. Camping trip

It was the summer holiday after Jamie had turned 7 and the family was taking a camping trip two hours away from the city. Even after Danny had become a teenager he still hung out with Jamie and taught him how to ride a bike, they had remained close despite the ten year age gap, although Joe and Jamie were also close. The camping trip was looked forward to by all the family. Unfortunately for Jamie he was stuck between 15 year old Erin and 17 year old Danny, famous in the family for their squabbles when in small spaces, like the family car. Joe had given Jamie a sympathetic glance when they got into the car, Jamie just sighed like he had accepted his fate.

Ten minutes into the car journey Erin and Danny were arguing, as their argument escalated no one in the car even knew what started it. Danny started poking Erin, who then tried to push Danny's hands away, but Danny kept pushing back and poor Jamie was caught in the crossfire. When Erin pushed back at Danny she accidentally used more force causing Danny to hit Jamie hard in the face.

"Erin! Danny!" said Mary sternly staring at her oldest children.

Before Erin or Danny could say anything they were interrupted by Jamie, "mom my nose is bleeding!" panicked Jamie. Frank immediately stopped at a gas station that happened to be nearby. Jamie clambered out of the car followed by Mary and Joe. Frank looked at the rear view mirror giving Erin and Danny 'the look' and they bowed their heads.

Fifteen minutes later Mary Jamie and Joe returned, Frank got out of the car to go to get some gas while Mary went to buy some snacks. Jamie stopped before getting in the car.

"What's up Jamie?" asked Joe,

"I don't wanna sit in the middle anymore" murmured Jamie. Joe nodded in understanding and without another word said Joe got in the middle when Jamie climbed into the boot seat.

Erin spun around to face Jamie and said "I'm really sorry Jamie"

Jamie nodded at his sister, knowing she didn't mean to hit him. Joe looked at Danny hinting for him to say something.

"Well I'm not sorry, it's about time Jamie started to toughen up, I'm not always going to be around to help him out if he gets beat up" grumbled Danny. Danny was now in a bad mood after the look Frank had given him and Erin. Joe shook his head at Danny when Erin was shocked, if Danny ever hurt Jamie without meaning to he always said sorry. Jamie looked wide eyed at the back of Danny's head and sunk lower into his seat. The rest of the car journey was done in silence.

#######

The day had come to go home, throughout the camping trip Jamie had avoided talking to Danny. The car was all packed and Jamie had gone for one last walk and when he returned to the car everyone spotted a cut on Jamie's knee that had been bleeding, but blood had been smeared around it.

"Jamie! Are you ok?" asked Mary, as she rushed towards Jamie. Jamie shrugged Mary's arm off him and walked towards the car.

"Jamie?" asked Danny, Jamie just glanced at him and then climbed into the boot seat. Danny climbed into the seat in front of Jamie.

"What's this about kid? You were hurt why didn't you call for help?" asked Danny.

"Because Danny I can cope with stuff on my own". Replied Jamie.

Little did the brothers now, this would be only the first rift between them and the number would grow quickly.


	5. Return home from a school trip

9 year old Jamie had been on a three week school camping trip, the whole family had found it odd not having the happy go lucky 9 year old around. To Erin and Joe it looked like Danny didn't even care that Jamie was gone, but Frank and Mary knew Danny was just putting a front on because being 19 he didn't want anyone to know that he missed his youngest brother. Danny was due to graduate from the Police Academy in four months' time, unfortunately ever since the family camping trip when Jamie was 7 arguments had become common between Jamie and Danny and as a result Jamie and Joe had become closer while Danny and Jamie had drifted apart. Jamie now asked Joe for help for his homework instead of going to Danny, Danny was hurt because of this and because he was hurt he put on a front and seemed harsher towards Jamie, which in turn made Jamie less reluctant to go to Danny for help. Jamie's friend's parents were dropping Jamie home from school; the family was gathered in the living room with a banner that said _WELCOME HOME JAMIE!_ .

As Jamie walked through the door with his pack on one shoulder he grinned at his family and dumped his pack near the door. Mary and Erin were the first to reach Jamie and gave him a hug; they were followed by Frank, Joe and then Danny.

When Danny got to Jamie he asked "so how was your trip kid?"

"It was _great_ Danny! We roasted marshmallows on a campfire and one night we even slept _outside_ to look at the stars!" replied Jamie enthusiastically, Danny smiled, it sure was good to have Jamie home again.

Erin went to help Mary and Frank in the kitchen and as Danny went to set the dining room table his good mood was ruined when Jamie said, "Joe wanna go with me to develop the photos I took, then help me put them in my scrapbook?"

"Sure Jamie, let's go quick before dinners ready" and then the two youngest Reagan brothers ran out the house. Leaving Danny feeling shunned by Jamie, because before the family camping trip Jamie _always_ asked Danny to go with him.

#######

After dinner Jamie had gone upstairs to get ready for bed as he was really tired. Joe was going up to help Jamie unpack. Then Joe saw Danny sitting on the bottom step looking annoyed.

"What's up Danny?" asked Joe as he sat next to his eldest brother.

"Nothing Joe"

"Now come on Danny, what's eating you?"

"I just don't get what all the fuss is about"

"What fuss?"

"Well Jamie comes home gets a welcome home banner and _all_ not _some_ of his favourite foods served; all he did was go on a three week camping trip. To be honest I didn't even notice he was gone"

Joe was about to reply that Danny didn't mean any of that, because he knew Danny missed Jamie an awful lot, he was just upset Jamie asked Joe to help him with his photos. But before Joe could say anything Danny and Joe heard someone scampering away at the top of the stairs and a slamming of a bedroom door.

"Jamie" stated Joe, who looked sadly up the stairs; he was dismayed that Jamie had heard Danny, because he knew Jamie would take what Danny said to heart. Danny groaned and put his head in his hands, he couldn't believe he had said those things and he wanted to kick himself so much that not only had he said those things, Jamie had heard him say them.

Joe looked at Danny and said "I'll go talk to him" and then went upstairs, Danny heard Joe enter Jamie's room. Danny went to his own room which was next door to Jamie's room and he heard Jamie's and Joe's conversation which was muffled by the wall. His head hit the pillow and he went to sleep running all the happy memories between him and Jamie.

_What's happened to us?_ Thought Danny,_ you know, it was you that happened._


	6. Tough love

Danny was now 20 and had graduated the police academy and also had moved out to his own apartment. Frank and Mary hated to admit it, but Danny's moving out had calmed the atmosphere of the family home. Surprisingly the atmosphere hadn't been tense between Danny and Erin, but Danny and Jamie. Since Jamie had gone on the class camping trip last year things had gotten worse between the two brothers, Frank and Mary had no idea what started the rise of tension. Arguments had become so common Frank had created an average in his head of how often the two brothers fought every day, that average was ten arguments a day. After an argument the only person able to calm either brother down was Joe, he had become the family peace keeper, a role he took very seriously as he didn't want his brothers to drift so far apart that they never spoke to each other.

So when Frank and Mary had to go out of the city to visit Mary's sick mother, to say they were worried was an understatement. Erin had left home to go to Law school and Henry was busy so the only person able to look after Joe and Jamie was Danny. Danny had agreed to move back home for a little while to take care of 15 year old Joe and 10 year old Jamie. If he had to take the night shift he trusted Joe to look after himself and Jamie during the night, as Danny was able to be home in time to see Joe and Jamie off to catch their school buses.

On Danny's fifth day back home he had the day off because he had worked the night shift and had the day to catch up on sleep as he would be doing the day shift the next day. He planned on sleeping when Joe and Jamie were out the house and so he stood in the kitchen toast already made for Joe and Jamie who were coming down the stairs.

"Hi Danny, how was your shift?" asked Joe as he walked into the kitchen, for some reason he looked uneasy.

"Yeah… it was ok" replied Danny, he didn't miss the way Joe was looking anywhere but him. Joe felt Danny looking at him and shifted in his chair. Jamie then walked in; he also was looking away from Danny.

"Look guys, if you've accidentally broke something just tell me and I'll sort it, I'll even smooth things over with mom and dad. So come on what happened?" Danny thought his comment would get Joe and Jamie to open up to him, but Joe just gave a side glance at Jamie. Jamie on the other hand grabbed his toast shot out of his chair grabbed his school backpack with his spare hand and said "I gotta go" and was hastily leaving the room.

But Danny grabbed Jamie's backpack and spun Jamie around to face him. That's when he noticed the nasty looking purple bruise on the left side of Jamie's face, the side he had been hiding from Danny's view.

"Jamie" said Danny sternly.

"It's nothing" replied Jamie while struggling to get out of Danny's grip.

"It's not nothing Jamie, so tell me who hit you?"

"No one"

"Jamie-"

"Danny it's nothing leave it alone"

When Danny looked over at Joe to see if Joe would give anything away, Jamie had taken the opportunity and pulled out of Danny's grip and was running for the front door.

"JAMISON HENRY REAGAN!" roared Danny as he ran after Jamie, but Jamie was already out the front door and running towards his bus stop. Fortunately for Jamie his bus turned up and as he got on he heard Danny yelling "JAMIE!" as Jamie sat down he saw Danny marching towards the bus and Jamie knew Danny would get on the bus and drag him off. But luck seemed to be on his side when the bus drove away leaving Danny behind with a murderous look on his face and Joe walking up to Danny, trying to calm him down. Jamie's best friend Liam gave him a sympathetic look.

Five minutes later Joe got on his bus and watched as Danny stalked back into the house and slammed the door, Joe inwardly flinched, he had told Jamie to tell Danny about the bruise but Jamie didn't want to. Danny had already left for his shift when Jamie came home from basketball practise with a red mark on his face. He hadn't even told Joe what caused it, Joe had told Danny this, but it hadn't helped. If anything Danny got slightly angrier that Jamie hadn't told _anyone_ about the bruise let alone Joe. Joe just prayed that his bus beat Jamie's home so he could be there to help calm the argument he knew was to come. If Danny had been working the day shift the argument to come may not be big, but with Danny having the whole day to think about Jamie's bruise and Jamie running away from Danny and not have anything to keep his mind of his thoughts, Joe _knew_ that the argument would be bad.

##########

Luck may have been on Jamie's side in the morning, but it certainly wasn't on his side in the afternoon. Jamie's bus got home first.

Jamie hesitantly walked along the pavement towards his house; Liam gave him a pat on the shoulders for comfort. Both Jamie and Liam could see that Joe's bus hadn't come yet, because a group of teenagers on Joe's bus always hung out for a while after, and they weren't there. This made Jamie even more reluctant to go home, he considered going to the basketball court at the end of the street for an hour or two, but got rid of that idea it would only make things worse. His next idea he liked better, he would go home run up the stairs and hide in his bedroom until Joe got home and maybe a while longer.

Jamie got to the front door, his heart was hammering against his ribs, his palms had become slightly sweaty, he wondered when he had become so scared of Danny, because it never used to be this way. Jamie took a deep breath and pushed the door open and just as he made a run for the stairs something, or mostly likely someone, Danny, grabbed his backpack stopping him from running to his room.

Jamie against his better judgement fought against Danny and wriggled out of his backpack, but Danny just grabbed onto his arms and forced Jamie to face Danny.

"Now Jamie, care to tell me about that bruise?" said Danny in a low tone that sent shivers down Jamie's spine, that along with Danny's eyes glinting with anger directed at him.

"No" whispered Jamie,

"What was that? I didn't hear you" replied Danny as he gripped Jamie's arms tighter,

"No" squeaked Jamie,

"Want to choose a different answer Jamie?" growled Danny as his grip on Jamie tightened again.

"Stop it Danny you're hurting me!" pleaded Jamie his eyes going wide with fear.

"Just answer me Jamie! Where did you get that bruise?" thundered Danny,

"I just fell!"

"You fell? I don't believe you" sneered Danny

"I only fell!" answered Jamie as his voice rose in panic,

"Say that all you want Jamie but I don't believe you! Why? Because that's an easy answer to say and also the fact that you ran away from me this morning so you didn't have to answer me, so I want the truth Jamie, who hurt you?"

"No one!"

"So you're sticking to your answer that you fell?"

"Yes"

"What did you say!" shouted Danny,

Now Jamie's panic had gone and it was replaced with anger at Danny, because Danny hadn't acted like he cared in a long while, so why should he now?

Jamie raised his head "I said yes Danny, I'm sticking to my answer that I fell"

"I'm not going to accept that Jamie"

"Well you're going to have to because that's my only answer!"

"Jamie!" Danny's voice going dangerous again, most criminals by now would have been cowering in fear of Danny and calling Jamie crazy for provoking Danny.

"Well it's not like you really care is it?" shouted Jamie,

"Why is that?" spat Danny, the argument had now gone in the direction Joe had dreaded it going.

"You're only acting like you care because mom and dad aren't here and you don't want them thinking you did a lousy job looking after me and Joe!"

Danny paused for a second and thought _is this what Jamie really thinks?_ "I _do_ care Jamie because you're my brother" said Danny his voice had lost its anger and was replaced with sadness.

Jamie hadn't noticed the change in Danny's voice and said angrily "well you could've fooled me".

"What's that supposed to mean?" Danny's voice lost the sadness and became angry again; Jamie again didn't notice the change because he was now focused on letting Danny know how he really felt.

"It means for the past year and a bit you've acted like I don't mean anything to you!"

"Where did you get that from?"

"Well how about from all the arguments we've had and all the times I've come home with bruises before and you've never even looked like you remotely cared even if mom or dad asked me about it"

"Well I do care!"

"Yeah right, that's why when I've asked the family to come watch me at basketball games everyone else has come but you haven't!"

"I'm busy!"

"Doing what sitting at your apartment drinking beer?" sneered Jamie

"What do you even know about being grown up?" spat Danny,

"Oh right because I'm 10 I don't know anything right?"

"Yeah that's about right"

"Well I know enough to know that when I grow up I don't want to be _anything_ like you!" yelled Jamie, by now Jamie's arms had gone dead from the death grip Danny had them in.

Joe burst into the house after seeing Liam outside, he knew Danny and Jamie would be yelling at each other. What he wasn't prepared to see was Danny gripping Jamie's arms so tight that Jamie had tears forming in his eyes.

"Danny let him go!" thundered Joe with more authority than a 15 year old would process, this caused Danny to notice how hard he had held onto Jamie's arms.

Danny let go of Jamie's arms and Jamie looked up at Danny a fire in his eyes that made Danny slightly weary, "see what I mean Danny? You don't care"

"I'm so sorry Jamie!" the look of regret showing in his eyes, but Jamie ignored him took his backpack and went to his room. Danny looked at Joe who shook his head and followed Jamie's lead and went to his room, knowing Jamie needed sometime to himself to calm down. Because that was the angriest Joe had ever seen Jamie who was normally the forgiving type and hardly ever lost his temper even if he and Danny argued he never lost it completely, like now.

Danny looked up at his brothers and couldn't believe what happened, he wished he would wake up and find this was just a nightmare. Later that night after Jamie and Joe had gone to sleep, Danny sneaked into Jamie's room. Jamie was lying on his side facing the door, with his arms on top of the covers and Danny could just make out some bruises on Jamie's forearms, bruises _he caused_. He turned and left Jamie's room and went to his own, as he laid on his old bed he looked to his left and saw a photo of him, Erin, Joe and a 3 year old Jamie sat on his lap looking up at him with a huge grin and his 13 year old self was looking down at Jamie with a big grin of his own. Seven years ago if someone told him what his relationship with Jamie would turn into he wouldn't have believed them, but he and Jamie had drifted apart and they continued on in different directions.

That night Jamie's words to Danny haunted his dreams…

_I know enough to know that when I grow up I don't want to be __**anything**__ like you!_


	7. Missed opportunities

**A/N** thanks to Ryan's Daughter with giving me the idea for this chapter as I had writers block. Hopefully chapter 8 will be up in the next few days. Thanks to everyone for their great reviews!

15 year old Jamie was sat in his room. Danny had decided to join the Marines and was home for a few days before shipping out, but today he was leaving to go back to base to be shipped out. Danny was coming over on his way to the airport, it felt strange to Jamie, the house that was normally full with laughter or fighting or humour and love, was more or less empty. Danny, Erin and now Joe had moved out. Joe had joined the NYPD, Erin was a successful lawyer and Danny had been made Detective three months ago. Just thinking about Danny leaving made Jamie's blood boil, he felt Danny was being selfish, he knew that sounded childish, but he was trying to ease the tension between him and Danny, not that Danny had been any help by not making it easy, but since Danny's announcement Jamie had decided to cut his losses and avoid Danny to keep the peace in the house. Jamie had been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed Danny enter his room and sit on his bed facing him.

Over the past couple of months Danny had noticed Jamie had been trying not to fight back against him, Joe had encouraged him to follow Jamie's example, but Danny had never been able to resist teasing or picking on Jamie, something that had been rare but over the years had steadily become a habit of his. He felt guilty about it, every time he saw the hurt flash across Jamie's to be replaced with anger and then indifference as Jamie would walk away trying not to let Danny get to him and keep the peace. Danny hadn't had the courage to go to Jamie and talk to him about it or say sorry, but when Joe had finally talked him into talking to Jamie alone, Jamie had been avoiding him like the Black Plague. Danny felt that today was as good as any to try and make amends with Jamie. He had come into Jamie's room to find his youngest brother staring into space.

"Hey kid" Danny almost laughed at the way Jamie almost jumped out of his skin,

"I didn't hear you come in Danny" said Jamie not meeting Danny's eye line,

"That's probably because you were staring into space", Danny ignored the fact Jamie was avoiding eye contact.

"So what did you want?"

"To say goodbye"

"Ok, well… goodbye" and Jamie then opened a book on his desk, Danny was taken aback, this wasn't like the normal Jamie he knew.

"What's up kid?"

"Nothing"

"Jamie I know you, and something tells me something is bothering you"

"It's nothing Danny leave. It. Alone" stressed Jamie, with his back still turned towards Danny.

Danny then tried to lighten the mood "I bet it's because you're gonna miss me, that's it isn't kid"

"Danny" warned Jamie,

"It's ok Jamie you can admit to me, I know you're gonna miss me" Danny ignored Jamie's warning,

"Everything always isn't about you Danny!" snapped Jamie,

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means just because you want to go off and play hero doesn't mean I have to worship the very ground you walk on!"

"I'm not going off to play hero!"

"Really? So why did you join the Marines?" asked Jamie sarcastically,

"Because I wanted to!" shouted Danny was he rose from the bed.

Jamie rose from his chair to face Danny, "well it isn't bad enough that when you're a cop the whole family worries about you, especially mom and Linda, then you decide that being a Detective isn't enough, you want to go a fight on a battlefield!"

"Stop right now Jamie because you don't know what you're talking about"

"Right that's just because I'm a kid of 15 years old isn't it?"

"It's not just because your 15, it's also because you don't know what the world is really like out there!"

"Well your wrong Danny! I think I have a pretty good idea what the world is really like!"

"Oh really?"

"Yes really, remember my high school is only a couple blocks away from where the towers came down two months ago!"

Danny stopped from answering. When the first tower had been hit, Jamie had been in Math class and had a clear view of what was happening. The school couldn't get the kids out because it was unsafe outside and the teachers had been told to keep their students in class to keep the corridors clear in case the school needed to be quickly evacuated, and so Jamie had been stuck watching the events happen. Danny had wondered about Jamie when he was at Ground Zero but couldn't go and check on him, Frank had later told Danny that Jamie had suffered nightmares from what he saw. Danny felt guilty about what he had said when he was 25 he didn't really understand what the world was really like, but Jamie was different. Jamie was ten years younger and had a good idea what the gruesome parts of life were like outside of their happy close knit family.

"Jamie-"

"Don't Danny, just don't" spat Jamie, as he glared at Danny,

"I was only trying to say I was sorry!"

"Well don't! it's not like you even mean it when you say it!" yelled Jamie,

Danny's eyes narrowed, "fine" and he turned and left Jamie's room. If Danny knew what happened after he left he would have gone straight back to Jamie, but as he didn't know he kept on walking.

Jamie sank back into his chair, and felt a huge wave of guilt sweep over him, Danny had come to say sorry and he blew it! Just because he was angry and didn't let Danny say anything! If anything happened to Danny, Jamie wouldn't know what to do; he would know it was all his fault for he and Danny not resolving their conflict. Tears began to fall down Jamie's face as he silently sobbed.

Unbeknownst to Danny and Jamie, Joe had been in the next room listening to their argument; he was just going to go into Jamie's room and demand to know why Jamie blew Danny off, when he saw Jamie sobbing into his hands. Joe knew Jamie felt guilty and left him alone. He just hope Danny came back ok so he and Jamie would have another chance to reconcile, because Joe didn't want to know how Jamie would feel if Danny didn't come back.


	8. Death of a friend

Jamie and his friend Liam were walking home from the subway station after going to watch a movie. They were laughing about how the main character took down the villain. When suddenly a car came coming towards them and it didn't look like it was going to stop.

"Liam look out!" cried Jamie, but the warning came too late.

The car had thrown Liam into the air and the force of the wing mirror hitting Jamie forced him to the ground.

"Jamie!" shouted Joe, he and Danny had been walking down the street going to meet Jamie and they saw the car hitting Liam and Jamie.

Joe and Danny ran over to the two 16 year olds, while running over Danny called for an ambulance and sighed in relief when he saw Jamie sit up. Danny stopped in front of Liam and he closed his eyes, Liam had blood all over his face and arms, Danny was used to seeing this on the job, but it was different when it was someone you've known for a long time.

Joe had caught a glance of Liam from the corner of his eye and tried to stop Jamie from looking at his friend.

"Liam!" called Jamie, as he cradled his left arm, he had landed on it funny and he had heard a crack so he assumed he had at least broken it.

"Jamie don't look" replied Joe,

"But Joe I've gotta see how he is!" said Jamie frantically as he tried to look at Liam around Joe. Danny and Joe silently agreed to change places and before Jamie knew it Danny was sitting in front of him.

"Danny please you have to let me help him!" begged Jamie,

"No Jamie" murmured Danny,

"Oh God! He's dead isn't he?" panicked Jamie,

"Jamie-"

"That's why you're not letting me see him!"

"Jamie! Calm down! He's not dead just in a bad way" replied Danny gently shaking Jamie and putting on his Detective voice (Danny had left the Marines five months before and returned to the NYPD).

Just then an ambulance arrived and while they took care of Liam, Danny sat on the floor in front of Jamie keeping him from looking at his best friend. Joe had gone in the ambulance with Liam and was going to contact Liam's parents. While Danny was going to take Jamie to the hospital and phone their parents, who were at a function with their grandpa Henry. Danny also contacted his partner and got them to look through any CCTV cameras on the street so they could arrest the driver.

###########

Danny had been with Jamie when he had his cast on and was taking Jamie to Joe so they could see how Liam was. Danny's partner had called, they had caught the driver who was drunk and high, and once he had been told what he had done he had broken down crying, after looking into the driver's background it was found that he was 19 and unfortunately been forced to hang out with a bad crowd. The driver hadn't asked for a lawyer and had just said "do what you have to do". When they entered the room Joe was in with Liam's parents, Danny knew it was bad. Liam's father and Joe were comforting Liam's mother who was crying. Joe looked up and shook his head at Danny and Jamie. Danny felt Jamie sway slightly but held himself up. Liam's mother looked up and rushed over to Jamie and embraced him.

"We know you warned Liam about the car coming and I'm so glad Liam had a best friend like you" and then she broke down crying again, her husband took her back to her seat and Danny took a pale Jamie home. Frank and Mary arrived and seeing Jamie was alright, they sent Joe home with his brothers and stayed with Liam's parents.

On the way home Jamie hadn't said a word, Joe and Danny looked at each other worriedly. When they entered their parents' house, they went to the kitchen.

"Do you want a sandwich Jamie?" asked Joe,

Jamie didn't answer or shake his head; he just sat staring at the floor.

"Joe asked you a question Jamie"

Danny's emotions then got the better of him, he knew how close he had come to losing Jamie and seeing Jamie look so defeated was the last straw.

"Jamie say something! I know it is hard for you-"

Jamie's head shot up and he glared at Danny "really? So you know what it is like seeing your _best friend_ get hit by a car when you could have done _something_ and then your friend dies at the hospital. Do you _really_ know how that _feels_!" yelled Jamie,

"There's no need to yell at me kid!"

"Isn't there? The _only_ times you _ever_ listen to me is when I yell at you, other than that I'm just invisible to you!" Tears then started streaming down Jamie's face, and that just made Danny's emotions spiral even further out of control.

"Look kid, people die that's the way of life, so you just have to pull yourself together and deal with it" stated Danny, he didn't mean for it to come out harsh he just wanted to stop Jamie from crying and he knew comforting Jamie would only make Jamie feel worse.

Jamie scrubbed his face trying to stop the tears, and when he looked at Danny, Danny almost took a step back at the look of hatred in Jamie's eyes.

"Well I'm sorry that I'm upset about the death of my friend Danny. Also I'm sorry I can't be the brother you want me to be seeing as I'm just a disappointment for you as I can't toughen myself up to _your _standards!" Jamie then stormed out of the kitchen and out into the backyard.

Danny just looked at Jamie's retreating figure and then turned to Joe, who had stayed silent during this argument because he knew both of his brother's emotions were out of their control and he knew that if they didn't let them out they would only explode at each other even worse than this argument.

"What did he mean about not toughening himself up to my standards?" asked Danny quietly.

"He has always remembered what you said to him on the camping trip nine years ago, you said he needed to toughen up after he had his nosebleed" Joe then gave Danny a soft smile and then followed out after Jamie. Danny was stunned he knew he had been part of the reason why his relationship with Jamie went downhill; he just never realized it was all because Jamie felt he was a disappointment to him.

As Danny stood in the kitchen words he had never forgotten that he had said to or about Jamie and what Jamie had said to him swirled around in his mind:

_"Well I'm not sorry, it's about time Jamie started to toughen up"_

"_All he did was go on a three week camping trip. To be honest I didn't even notice he was gone"_

"_I know enough to know that when I grow up I don't want to be __**anything**__ like you!"_

_"Everything always isn't about you Danny!"_

_"It means just because you want to go off and play hero doesn't mean I have to worship the very ground you walk on!"_

_"Jamie-"_

_"Don't Danny, just don't" spat Jamie, as he glared at Danny,_

_"I was only trying to say I was sorry!"_

_"Well don't! It's not like you even mean it when you say it!"_

"_There's no need to yell at me kid!"_

"_Isn't there? The only times you ever listen to me is when I yell at you, other than that I'm just invisible to you!" _

Danny groaned and pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. When he reopened his eyes Joe had reached Jamie, Jamie was standing ramrod straight and tensed when Joe put a hand on his shoulder. Then the dam Jamie had built broke and his knees buckled as sobs shook his body and Joe lowered them both the floor and cradled Jamie like he was a small child again.

As Danny looked at his brothers he was reminded of a time where it would have been him cradling Jamie, not Joe. "What have I done?" whispered Danny to the empty kitchen.


	9. Law school

Danny was stood on the top of the stairs trying to muster up the courage to go into Jamie's room. Jamie was now 18 and had graduated High School, today he was going to Boston to Harvard's Law school. Despite what Jamie might think, Danny was going to miss him so much, it was going to be hard to not see that goofy smile whenever a funny conversation was started at Sunday dinner. It was going to be odd not _seeing_ Jamie at the dinner table let alone his goofy smile. After the death of Jamie's best friend Liam things between Danny and Jamie had improved somewhat, they still argued but not as much and not as violent (word wise, Danny would _never_ hit Jamie).

Danny was still shocked about Jamie going to Law school, he had always seen Jamie becoming a cop, by the way Jamie would stand up for someone at school who was being bullied. But becoming a _lawyer_! That was Erin's field; she had always been the diplomat of the family, Joe had always been the peacekeeper, he had always been the driven one and Jamie had been all three of them rolled into one, equally balanced, which would make him a great cop. Their mom had been so pleased when Jamie had announced his plans, it was no secret in the family that Mary didn't want Jamie joining the NYPD, their dad also, but Danny could sense that Frank knew, like Danny, Jamie had all the good instincts of a cop, not a lawyer.

_Get a grip on yourself Danny! He's your kid brother and you don't know when you'll get to see him, between him being in Boston and you being a Detective!_ Danny took a deep breath and walked to Jamie's room.

"Hey kid got everything?" asked Danny as he entered the room.

Jamie looked up from putting his last things in his backpack, his suitcase was already in the car, the family were outside waiting to wave him goodbye.

"Yeah just put the last things in"

Danny nodded; he didn't know what to say to his own brother!

"So you think you're going to enjoy Law school?"

"Yeah, why do you ask?" asked Jamie confused by the sudden question,

"I dunno guess to me you seem like an outgoing person, so I don't see you in a court room"

"Well I think I can manage in a court room Danny" said Jamie, as he started to go on the defensive, he didn't know what Danny was playing at, but he wasn't sure if he was happy with where the conversation was going.

"I think you could manage it, you're a smart kid, but I'm not sure if…"

"What? That I'd be any good?" demanded Jamie, he defiantly didn't like where the conversation was going. Ever since he had announced his plans Danny had seemed to be trying to talk him out of them, and Jamie was determined to prove to Danny that he was capable of becoming a good lawyer, a dam good one.

"Well now that you mention it, and you've still got time to not go" Danny smiled to himself, if Jamie would decide to stay and join the NYPD it would mean they could have more in common and so resolve the tension between them. But Danny read Jamie's body language wrong, just this once and misinterpreted what Jamie was actually saying.

"Danny shut up!"

"Hey don't tell-"

"No Danny! You listen to me! This is exactly why I never tell you anything! You always interrogate me like one of your suspects!"

"What does that mean?"

"It means when I'm trying to sort something out myself, you always have to butt in and sort it out how you see fit! Never mind what I want!"

"When have I done that?"

"When I was 10 and I had a bruise from playing basketball. Do you want to know what really happened? I'll tell you what happened! I was blocking Harry Turner and as he did a layup he missed and ended up hitting me"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because Danny you were in interrogation mode and I knew if I told you, you would go and find Harry-"

"And what is wrong with that?"

"I'll tell you what's wrong, you would believe I was covering up for him just hitting me for no reason and you would get frustrated at him and me for not telling you what you thought was the truth!"

Danny gave a sad smile to Jamie, "and that kid is why I think you would make a great cop, you have good instincts for reading people, not standing up at court blabbering on about this and that"

Jamie glared at Danny "it's my life Danny, not yours! I choose how I want to live _my_ life; I don't want anyone telling me how I must live it"

"Oh really? Well why did you end up choosing a career that mom wanted you to do"

"She didn't force me Danny, she just gave me options so I wouldn't join the NYPD, and she would have accepted it if I did join the force, because unlike you Danny she lets me lead my _own_ life!" Jamie shouldered his backpack and stormed out of the room. Leaving Danny looking after Jamie, he slowly followed Jamie out of the house. Frank gave him a questioning look and he subtlety shook his head, he hoped his dad would just think he was sad Jamie was leaving, which he was, but he knew Frank would know he and Jamie argued, Frank always knew. Joe came out the house and gave Jamie a photo of the whole family.

"Just so you always have us with you"

"Thanks Joe" smiled Jamie as he hugged Joe and then the family. When Jamie hugged Danny it was awkward and quick, Danny didn't get the chance to whisper he was sorry. Jamie got in the car with Frank and they drove away. Danny and Joe were last ones to be standing by the road after their brother was long gone, on his way to Law school.

Joe looked at Danny and said "why do you and Jamie always argue?"

"What are you talking about?" asked Danny, he had no intention of telling Joe about the argument.

"You know" and Joe walked away, he didn't need Danny telling him he and Jamie just had an argument; he had been in his room getting the photo for Jamie and had heard them. It made him sad that he had to be the one in the middle to keep Danny and Jamie on speaking terms with each other, they used be very close and inseparable despite the ten year age gap between them. But their close brotherly bond had ended eleven years ago.

Danny took one last look where the car carrying Jamie away disappeared and then went back up too Jamie's room and sat on the bed. He looked around the room and then sighed to himself _well you've done it again Danny, you go and try to make things better but you end up causing an argument by saying the wrong thing_.


	10. Death of a Brother

Jamie was still in shock. Two days ago Frank had called him; Joe was dead, shot while on duty. He had known something was wrong as soon as he picked up the phone, the moments silence on the other end confirmed it. The phone started exactly the same as the one where he had been told of his mother's death, that had been three years ago, Jamie had felt slightly distanced from the family then. The rest of the family had all been there for his mother's final days, he had wanted to be there, but he had an exam coming up and Mary had point blank told him he was not going to miss that exam. As soon as the exam was over Jamie made his way home. While on his way to the airport Frank had called him and told him that his mom had died peacefully in her sleep, with the family around her (minus the kids). Except _he_ hadn't been there. When he had arrived everyone was silent in their grief, but did give him a warm welcome, but filled with sympathy. Danny had been reserved with him, Jamie didn't know if he was just being stupid, but he had thought Danny was giving him looks of resentment, almost accusing. Because Danny had been there while Mary passed away and he had been in Boston doing a stupid exam, one he could've asked to resist under the circumstances. Joe had been the one to help Jamie through his grief and self-destructing, guilty mood. By telling him he did what their mom wanted, but that did little to comfort Jamie, but he put on an act, mainly for the sakes of the others.

Again Jamie was making his way home after being in Boston after the death of another family member. But this time it was Joe, the one who understood him better than anyone else, Joe wasn't only his brother, but his best friend. Jamie got out of the cab and walked up the steps to the family home. As he entered the house he saw the adults were all in the living room, all with red eyes from the crying. They each came to give him a hug, all except Danny, and there in Danny's eyes again was the look of resentment. Jamie backed out of the room as fast as he could and went up to his old room.

Joe's funeral was the next day, Frank, Henry and Danny were in their uniforms and there was him in a black suit, sticking out like a sore thumb, looking like he didn't belong. Which reflected his mood; he didn't _feel_ like he belonged with his _own family_. During the service Jamie tried to keep the tears at bay, but a few fell unwanted down his cheeks and he scrubbed them away almost angrily. He kept his gaze on Joe's coffin; he couldn't believe that his always moving and happy brother was lying still in that wooden box.

Jamie missed Erin's and Danny's glances at him. They both knew Jamie had lost his best friend and they were worried because Jamie always bottled his feelings up, but Joe was always able to get him to let it all out. Now Joe wasn't here to keep Jamie from self-destructing. After Joe's coffin had been lowered into the ground everyone made their way to their cars. But Jamie stayed by the graveside staring at the headstone. Danny stood halfway between the cars and Jamie; he knew he hadn't been exactly welcoming towards Jamie, Linda's pointed look when Jamie backed out of the room was prove enough. Danny watched as Jamie backed away from the grave and with a quick glance towards the family he walked away out of the cemetery gates. Danny went to follow him but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"Let him go son, he needs some time" said Frank, and he led Danny away. Danny cast a last look at Joe's grave and Jamie's retreating figure. His two younger brothers. He'd lost Joe and ever since Mary's death Danny couldn't help but feel he was slowly losing Jamie. _No! I won't lose him! I won't EVER let that happen!_

It had been three days since Joe's funeral. Jamie hadn't said much to anyone, only answering yes or no or only a few words before he would calm up. He was by a pond near the edge of the woods he and his siblings would come and play, before they all grew up. But even when Joe was 20 he would still come and muck around with 15 year old Jamie, Joe never got to grown up to play with Jamie.

Just thinking about Joe's death got Jamie angry, it wasn't fair that Joe had died; he was such a good person. Jamie picked up some stones and angrily tossed them into the pond, he didn't care when his shoulder began to ache, he just picked up more stones, creating ripple after ripple in the water. Until a voice from behind said.

"What's the water ever done to you kid? You used to like jumping in there" Jamie spun around to come face to face with Danny. Jamie didn't say anything he turned back to throwing stones into the water.

"Come on kid say something, we're all worried about you" Danny said softly,

"Go away Danny" murmured Jamie,

"Well at least that's a start" said Danny, ideally he didn't want to annoy Jamie, but if getting Jamie angry would eventually get him to let his feelings out then Danny would do just that, because he was dammed if he was going to lose Jamie to the stupid and cruel emotion of grief.

Danny turned Jamie to face him and sucked in a breath at the emotions swirling around in Jamie's eyes which were shimmering with unshed tears. "It's ok to cry Jamie" murmured Danny softly.

"Well I haven't seen you cry" said Jamie stubbornly,

Danny shook his head then looked Jamie in the eye "it's not about me Jamie and trust me I've already cried my share, just ask Linda. But you need to let it out Jamie"

"Well at least you can look dad in the face"

"What's that supposed to mean, nothing's stopping you"

"Only my guilt" spat Jamie,

"Guilt for what?"

"Not being here when mom and Joe died, I was doing a stupid exam, one I could've asked to resist when mom died-"

"You were doing what she wanted you to do Jamie, you were respecting her wishes" Danny had thought this was what was wrong with Jamie, but he would rather he was wrong.

"It's just not _fair_" moaned Jamie,

Danny gave Jamie a sad smile "unfortunately kid life is never fair"

"Joe should never have died. If one of us had to die it should have been me"

"What?" gasped Danny,

"Ever since I went to Boston I haven't felt like I belonged, I've felt like an outsider" whispered Jamie,

"Why didn't you tell us" begged Danny as he gripped Jamie's shoulders,

"You never did it on purpose, it just happened; you all saw each other every Sunday _at least_. I was miles away in Boston with nothing in common with you all. So I should have been the one to die. It should have been me"

"Don't say that. Don't you _ever_ say that Jamie" demanded Danny,

"Oh come on Danny, don't say to me out of your two brothers, if one had to live you would rather the brother becoming a lawyer. At least you and Joe had the job in common."

"Now you listen to me Jamie, I wouldn't either of you dead, but because of the way things are now I don't want you destroying yourself wishing it was you that was dead. You know Joe wouldn't want you doing that"

At the mention of Joe Jamie's face contorted in pain and the tears he had kept at bay flooded his eyes and poured down his cheeks as his knees buckled and crumpled to the floor with Danny going down with him. Danny cradled Jamie as sobs racked his body causing his whole body to shake. Danny was reminded of a time when he and Jamie were in a similar position; Jamie when he was 6 had fallen off his bike scrapping his arms and legs. Danny wished that was all that was causing Jamie's tears, but that was seventeen years ago.

"That's it Jamie let it all out" murmured Danny into Jamie hair. Jamie gripped Danny's arms and Danny tightened his embrace of Jamie.

"W-why Dan-Danny wh-why?" sobbed Jamie,

"I don't know Jamie I don't know" said Danny as tears silently fell down his face.

The two brothers didn't know that their exchange went noticed by their father. Who watched with tears in his own eyes, but he still smiled, he was so thankful that Danny was able to get Jamie to let his feelings out. He turned away letting the two brothers have a moment together. Frank hoped this would mean fewer arguments between the two, but he knew realistically there would still be arguments because they wouldn't have changed, and he wouldn't have it any other way.


	11. Academy Graduation

Danny was watching 24 year old Jamie's Police Academy graduation. He filled with pride when he saw Jamie march past, but it was bittersweet. There was a time when he had hoped he would be standing here watching Jamie march past, but that was before Joe was killed. Now Danny was filled with worry of all the possibilities that could happen to his youngest brother. The city could be a deadly place for anyone, but most especially for cops. Danny remembered when Jamie dropped the bombshell that he was joining the NYPD.

_Danny was the last person Jamie told, the first to know was Frank and Henry. Danny and Jamie were sat in their father's house backyard drinking some beer. Danny was silent for a few moments after Jamie told him._

_When he finally found his voice he said "is this what you really want?"_

"_What do you mean Danny?" asked a nervous and confused Jamie,_

"_I mean you've just graduated Harvard Law, it seems a bit of a jump to then become a cop"_

"_It is what I want Danny" replied Jamie who never sounded surer than when he was this serious._

"_I was just making sure this wasn't you trying to make it easier for the family getting over Joe's death" Danny said looking Jamie straight in the eye, he was now using his cop skills in reading people to make sure Jamie wasn't lying._

"_No Danny, I'm not doing that. I actually talked to Joe about it before. He knew I wasn't totally happy going into Law and then it sort of came out that I wanted to join the NYPD and Joe said if it was what I wanted then I should go ahead, and that's what I'm doing". However much Danny wished he could see Jamie was lying, he couldn't, Jamie was telling the truth. When Jamie first went to Law school when he was 18 Danny wanted Jamie to join he and Joe in the NYPD, now he wanted Jamie to stay in Law._

"_I just don't want to have to worry about you on the streets" Danny hadn't realized he said this aloud until he saw Jamie's eyes narrow in anger._

"_Well you don't have to worry about me I'll be fine"_

"_Can't always be so sure Jamie, anything could happen"_

"_Why do you always do this?"_

"_Do what?"_

"_Find faults in me whatever I do? I'm just one big disappointment to you aren't I? You know the whole family including Sydney have been trying to talk me out of this, but you know what? I wish Joe was here so much because out of all of you he would have supported me no matter what! Just because I'm the youngest doesn't mean you all have to baby me! At least Joe let me lead my own life how I wanted!" Jamie then stood up and walked to the end of the backyard. _

_Danny looked at Jamie and then to the sky, "what do I do Joe? I don't wanna see him hurt, I'm scared Joe, I'm so scared of what might happen"._

As Danny watched Jamie he smiled when he saw the big grin plastered across Jamie's face. There was no denying Jamie was happy and doing what he wanted. When they were outside waiting for Frank, Henry and Jamie, Danny's mind wandered back to his graduation, he was 19 and when he came out of Madison Square the first member of his family he saw was 9 year old Jamie sat on 14 year old Joe's shoulders. Jamie had been bubbling with excitement and saying he took lots of photos. Danny came out of his thoughts when he saw Jamie walk over, he could see in Jamie's eyes the same bubbling excitement, but Jamie was keeping it in check, which was a shame really because Danny missed seeing the hyper-active, happy-go-lucky kid Jamie used to be. Tearing around the house on Christmas and his birthday, he also got excited on someone else's birthday because he wanted to see their reactions to their presents. Danny missed those days, he knew no kid could ever be as hyper-active than Jamie, that was certain, so he was sad Jamie had grown up and lost that spark, although he could still see it sometimes in Jamie's eyes.

After the situation with him sticking a man's head down a toilet, he met up with Jamie at a bar.

"So kid how'd your first week go?"

"It was great Danny! I remembered Joe telling me about Renzulli so when I found out he was my TO I thought 'oh God what have I got into?' but he's great, not so terrifying as I first thought"

Danny laughed, he remembered Joe telling him about Renzulli and after meeting the Sergeant a few times he knew he was a good man and cop and when he found out Renzulli was Jamie's TO he breathed a sigh of relief, he didn't have to worry so much because he knew Jamie was in good hands.

Danny and Jamie stayed for a couple of hours comparing their first weeks on the job and Danny smiled when he saw Jamie's eyes light up every time the job was mentioned. There was no doubt about it, Jamie was doing what he loved, Joe was right spotting that Jamie was unhappy with the prospect of doing Law for a job. When Jamie went to the bathroom Danny raised his bottle and said "good work Joe for keeping our kid brother happy, I'll watch out for him no need to worry".


	12. Brothers

**A/N the words in bold are from the episode, and thanks to everyone for their reviews! They help me continue writing this and getting through my writers block! *hugs to everyone who has reviewed***

Danny was sat on the sofa in his living room with his head in his hands, well that Sunday's dinner hadn't exactly gone well.

"_**What did you say?"**__ Danny said glaring across the table at Jamie,_

"_**You heard me"**__ replied Jamie, his own stare at Danny unwavering,_

"_**No I didn't say it again"**_

"_**Jamie he's just trying to get a rise out of you"**__ Sydney said just trying to diffuse the tension that had risen, Linda sent her a grateful look, Linda didn't want the boys to see their dad and uncle fighting._

"_**Yeah well he got one"**__ Jamie said slightly calmer, but his voice still held annoyance._

"_**Listen to your girlfriend Jamie, take it easy"**__ Danny said, _Danny was now kicking himself for having to put his foot in it again, just when things were calming down.

"_**Yeah I will Danny when you get off my back ok?"**__ Jamie said almost desperate, he wanted Danny to see that he was capable of looking after himself,_

"_**I'm not on your back"**__ Danny said annoyed,_

"_**You've been riding me since I got out of Academy"**_

"_**You know when I start riding you you'll know about it"**_

"_**I'm sick of this"**__ huffed Jamie as he stood up and began to leave the table,_

"_**Where you going? Sit down"**_

"_**You wanna talk about it I'll be outside Danny"**_

"_**Sit down Harvard"**_

"_**I'll be outside Danny"**__ Jamie hated it when Danny used that nickname and stormed out of the house,_

"_**I'll go talk to him"**__ sighed Danny,_

"_**No I'll talk to him"**__ Frank said firmly, this was one occasion when he really missed Joe, Joe would have been able to calm them down and the family could have continued the dinner in peace._

_Despite his grandfather's looks Danny got up and followed Jamie and Frank, Danny stayed just inside the doorway when he heard his father and Jamie talking. _

_Danny's heart plummeted when he heard Jamie say, __**"I'm sorry, but its rookie this and rookie that I mean I can't do anything right anymore! He's-"**_

"_**I think he's desperate to teach you everything he knows"**__ Frank said, and Danny smiled because he wasn't surprised his father had got right to the truth, it was what Danny was trying to do, in a round about way._

"_**By tearing me down every chance that he gets?"**__ Danny's smile then disappeared, Jamie sounded desperate and upset, but there was a strain in his voice suggesting that he was trying to keep his emotions in check._

"_**That's your brother, if he's tough on you it means he wants to make you bulletproof"**__ again Frank stated the truth,_

"_**I give directions to tourists in Times Square; it's not exactly Fort Apache in the 70's"**__ Danny closed his eyes and sighed, that's exactly the same attitude he had when he first started as a rookie on the beat, and look what happened there, he lost count the number of times trouble arose while he was walking a beat, that was why he was hard on Jamie. He wanted to drum into his younger brother that when you wear the uniform, you aren't always safe, whether you're giving directions or busting down a suspect's door._

"_**Every tour you work, do this job like there's trouble around every corner, because one day there will be." **__Danny walked away back to the table, he would try and back off from Jamie, because Danny put himself in Jamie's shoes and knew it couldn't be easy for the youngest Reagan with their family's legacy and the fact that Danny was pushing him to get better, without making his intentions clear. As Danny walked away he missed the last thing Frank said which summed up why Danny was pushing Jamie, __**"Danny couldn't handle losing another brother"**__._

So Danny was sat at home wondering what he was going to do, because talking about feelings was never his kind of thing, he relied on reading people's body language and that was how he had always communicated with his siblings. The proof of this was shown by the way he and Jamie made up after their fight, they sat next to each other in the court room watching Erin and just looked at each other and nodded. This was how they always made up and Danny told Linda this after coming home and telling her not to worry about him and Jamie, they had made up and Linda turned around and said "for how long Danny?"

Danny was stumped, he wasn't prepared for that question, he just figured that he and Jamie would always argue and make up and that was fine, as that was what they had always done. Linda put a spanner in the works for that theory to.

"Yes Danny, I know that is what happened while you both were growing up, but Danny, that was one of your worst fights over something as trivial as that, what if each time you fight and it gets worse, will you put your pride aside to talk to Jamie, or just for the sake of your pride will you let your relationship with Jamie slide? What's more important Danny? Your pride or your brother"

So Danny was considering Linda's words, of course Jamie was more important than his pride, no doubt, but was Danny showing this to Jamie? Probably not. So sat on his sofa at ten o'clock at night Danny resolved to try and patch things up with Jamie, because he didn't want to lose Jamie just because of his pride.


	13. The Blue Templar

**A/N the words in bold are from the episode.**

Frank, Danny and Jamie had returned to Frank's and Henry's house after taking down the Blue Templar. Danny had been shocked when Jamie came forward to tell him about Joe's death and his investigation. Danny couldn't believe that his brother who was not even a year out of the Academy and was investigating a group of dirty cops on his own. And when they were confronting the Templar Malesky's words to Jamie haunted Danny.

_Malseky had just admitted to killing Joe, claiming he hadn't meant to. Then he came forward saying __**"Like the rookie over there, you people just don't take a hint"**__ Danny was furious, how DARE he threaten his kid brother in front of him and their father, wasn't it enough that he had killed Joe? Now when caught did he really have to threaten Jamie? Danny felt so proud of Jamie when Jamie stared straight back at Malesky and said __**"not from you we don't"**__._

_On the way home Danny and Jamie went to Frank's house in Danny's car and Danny voiced his anger about Malesky threatening Jamie. Jamie had then tensed up and Danny questioned him about it, he had NOT liked what he heard._

"_What do you mean you think he took your gun and why didn't you say anything?"_

"_Because I had no proof he did it!"_

"_I wish the coward hadn't shot himself, I would have punched him into the next year!" _

"_Now I'm glad I didn't mention the rest" whispered Jamie, but unfortunately for him Danny heard._

"_What do you mean the rest? What happened Jamie?"_

"_Uh" stalled Jamie_

"_Jamie"_

"_He may have… uh… tampered with the brakes on my car… which may have led to me… um… crashing my car"_

"_WHAT!" Danny slammed on his brakes and turned into a siding, he opened his mouth to voice his objections to Jamie not saying anything very loudly, but Jamie put up a hand and said "please Danny, I can't deal with this right now, I know I should have said something, but can we please just get to dad's"_

_Danny's features softened at Jamie's expression and quiet plea "yeah ok kid" said Danny softly and he eased the car out of the siding and carried onto their dad's house._

It was now late at night and Danny had just said goodnight to Frank and Henry, Jamie had already gone upstairs half an hour ago. When Danny reached the top of the stairs he went to Jamie's room to check on him.

"Oh Jamie" whispered Danny, what was before him tore Danny's heartstrings. Jamie was lying asleep on his old childhood bed, but lying open beside him were photo albums that Joe had made and on Jamie's face was the evidence of tears, which showed Jamie had cried himself to sleep. Danny crept to Jamie's bedside and gently wiped away the remaining tears and moved the albums from the bed. He also settled Jamie down more flat on the bed and got a blanket from the chair by Jamie's old desk, as he draped the blanket over Jamie Danny whispered "I'm so proud of you Jamie, never forget that, and I will always be here for you to come to". Danny kissed the top of Jamie's head and then turned out the light as he left the room closing the door behind him quietly. This may have been a tough time for Jamie, but it had only made him a stronger cop and it also gave the family much needed closure to Joe's death and for that Danny would always be grateful to Jamie for.


	14. Black and Blue

**A/N a sort of missing scene for the episode of **_**Black and Blue**_** I felt there should have been a brotherly moment at about the time I have set this chapter, I mean look at Danny's face when he saw Jamie come out of the church and when Jamie is sat on the end of the Ambulance! Yes the scene when Jamie is getting patched up is touching, but the episode had lots of chances for seeing some good brotherly moments. Anyway end of the sort of rant and on with the chapter! **

It had almost been a year since the Reagan's took down the Blue Templar. Things between Danny and Jamie had improved somewhat, but they weren't where they used to be when Jamie was 7 and Danny was 17. They still argued, Frank would think something was wrong with them if they didn't, although, things had been peaceful for about a month after the take down of the Blue Templar if Danny had to stop by the 12th he would go downstairs and see if Jamie was around and check to see he was ok. Frank figured this was Danny making sure Jamie was fine and he wasn't going to lose another brother to the job, but things soon went back to normal when Danny had come to drop of the meat for Sunday's dinner and Jamie had come over before he headed home. Henry had heard that Jamie had helped some Detectives out of the 12th take down a drug operation and Henry wanted to hear the story from Jamie himself, Henry had always prided himself on knowing what was going on with his grandchildren and being able to offer advice if it was needed. So Jamie had been describing what had happened when Danny decided to put in his own comments about the raid. Then after that… well, things soon went back to normal and with no Joe to keep the peace… well Henry felt a little bit like being out of his depth dealing with his two arguing grandsons. The argument had ended with Jamie storming out calling to Henry he'll see him on Sunday, leaving Danny with a glaring Henry. It's safe to say Danny made a hasty retreat. That Sunday had been a tense affair with Nikki drawing the short straw and ending up sitting between her two uncles, Linda had wanted to keep the boys out of the middle and she herself didn't want to be stuck between Danny and Jamie, Erin felt sorry for her daughter but not enough to offer to swap seats. After dinner Jamie had offered to wash the dishes, Frank volunteered Danny to do the drying and before Jamie realized who had come to help him Frank had closed the door on them. Within half an hour the two brothers were laughing together, at the expense of Erin, but on this occasion she let it slide as at least her brothers were talking. As like it had been through most of their lives Danny may fight with Jamie, but it all boiled down to if someone messed around with Jamie, they'd have to answer to Danny.

So when Danny and Jackie had responded to the 10-85 Danny had _not_ been expecting Jamie to stagger out of the church, at first Danny had thought Jamie was helping the officers who had called the 10-85, because he knew Jamie patrolled this area as his beat so he was expecting to see Jamie here responding to the 10-85. So he called out to Jamie asking what was going on because if Jamie was helping the officers that would mean he was one of the first on scene. But that all changed when he then saw the blood all down one side of Jamie's face and when he saw the officer Jamie was helping was Renzulli.

When the situation had calmed somewhat and while they waited for the Ambulance Danny sat Jamie down and inspected the wound on Jamie's head and asked what happened to cause the wound, he wasn't going to ask for details on what started the riot until Jamie had been checked over.

"So kid what caused this wound on your head?"

"Wound? You make it sound like I was in a battle; it's just a cut anyway and you know injures to the head bleed lots anyway"

"Ok fine. What caused the _cut_ on your head?" smirked Danny; at least Jamie was in better shape than Renzulli who was currently leaning against a car with Jackie talking to him.

"Erm we just fell" answered Jamie, Danny was transported back to when Jamie was 10 and was avoiding telling Danny about the bruise on his face, ironically the same side of Jamie's face that now had drying blood on it. Danny also remembered when Jamie was 18 and he finally told Danny the truth in a fit of rage, saying he didn't tell Danny the truth because Danny questioned him like a suspect and he also knew Danny would flip out. So Danny tried another tactic.

"So you fell on flat ground? You trip over your own feet?... again." chuckled Danny, remembering Jamie injuring himself that way a lot growing up.

"No" smirked Jamie "I haven't done that in years"

"Well what I'm seeing in front of me, looks to me the consequences of falling over your own feet, I mean you did that a lot and ended up looking like you are now more times than I can count".

Jamie huffed to himself and relaxed a little bit which is what Danny was aiming for.

"Fine, we entered the building they wouldn't let us through, we went in anyway. We got about halfway up the stairs where we met two more guards, and a couple behind them. Renzulli and I then tried to get past them, which ended with us being pushed down the stairs" Jamie's voice had grown quieter as he finished what he was saying and he was now looking at the ground, missing the look on Danny's face, which was probably a good thing.

"They pushed you down the stairs!" exclaimed Danny his face going slightly red with anger.

"Yeah and those stairs weren't that soft either"

Danny stopped from beginning his rant to look at Jamie, "soft? Since when are stairs soft?"

"Well maybe soft is the wrong word, but anyway the stairs at dad's house are wooden and hurt less than the stairs I just fell down"

"What were stairs like that you just fell down?" Danny didn't know if he wanted to hear what Jamie was going to say.

Jamie seemed to realize what position he just put himself in, but knew he wouldn't get away without answering, because Danny managed to get him to answer his question without realizing. _Huh maybe Danny is starting to understand I'm not one of his suspects, and how long has that taken? 25 years to be exact – _

"Jamie"

"Oh sorry, um… er…"

"_Jamie_" said Danny exasperated, really Jamie could really get lost in his thoughts. _Daydreamer_ thought Danny with a soft smile playing on his lips.

"Marble" murmured Jamie,

Danny was now back to seeing red, Jamie noticing this quickly thought of something to say to distract Danny from his rage, and for once it actually worked.

"Yeah well at least when you shoved me down the stairs you did it with less force"

"Huh? When did I shove you down the stairs?" Danny was trying to remember this, he never shoved Jamie down the stairs. Did he? Surely if he did he would have answered to Joe, and that wouldn't have been pretty, Danny made a point to try and not get himself in a position to be lectured by Joe.

"I was about 8 and it was just before your 18th birthday. Erin was on a date and Joe was at a friend's house, I was hobbling down the stairs as my sprained ankle was only just healing after I tripped playing basketball and I was going to slow for you apparently and you rushed past me knocking me down the last five stairs"

Now Danny remembered! And that is why Joe never found out about it! If Erin had been there she would have told Joe, but Danny had convinced (in other words bribed) Jamie into not telling Erin and Joe and in return Danny would help/do some of Jamie's homework for two months and do some of Jamie's chores (the ones their mother wouldn't notice Danny doing) for a month.

"Oh yeah, well you were going slow"

"I had a sprained ankle!"

"Yeah and dinner had been called!"

"That's no excuse I was 8! So I was smaller than you!"

"Taught you to get downstairs quicker though!

"More like it taught me to never get between you and food!"

"Hey! Well at least I can thank you for not telling Joe about that one" Danny then noticed Jamie smirking, "you didn't tell him did you Jamie?"

"Yeah how could I not!"

"What do you mean?"

"Danny I had to stay in bed an extra week with my ankle and I tried telling him I tripped over my own feet and he saw I was covering for something so I had to tell him the truth!"

"I'm surprised he didn't kick my ass!"

"Oh he wanted to believe me! But I told him what you agreed to do for me if I didn't tell him and so he agreed that it was _definitely_ worth my while to pretend I hadn't said anything"

Danny gaped at Jamie, he had never realized how good at scheming Joe and Jamie had been even at a young age, they definitely took after him in _that_ aspect.

Jamie breathed a sigh of relief; he had stopped Danny from freaking out about what had happened. What he didn't realize was that he hadn't taken Danny's mind of what had happened he had just lessened Danny's frustration at that moment in time.

The sirens of two Ambulances announced their arrival; Jamie turned to Danny and said "who got _two_ Ambulances? I'm fine!"

"Your fine once the EMT's say you are!" replied Danny firmly, he held back a snigger when Jamie sighed and went to one of the Ambulances. Danny sat on the curb of the pavement counting his lucky stars Jamie was ok, the situation could of ended in a totally different way, with Jamie being seriously hurt, but if all Jamie came away with was a cut and some bruises then Danny was happy, he would have preferred Jamie not getting hurt. But if Jamie was to have got hurt he rather the way events had turned out by far.


	15. Moonlighting

The Reagans had just enjoyed one of the best Sunday dinners ever, although it was at the expense of Jamie. There was definite tension at the dinner table, with the prolonged silence and everyone casting subtle glances at Jamie, but because Jack asked what happened to Jamie, the conversation was able to head towards Jamie's 'gift'. The conversation and laughing seemed to take everybody's mind off what had happened to Jamie, all except Danny and Frank, this was because they were the only ones to really know what Jamie was doing to get beaten up in the first place.

Danny was sat in the backyard watching Jamie giving guidance to Jack and Sean on the best way to shoot in basketball. Frank came out and handed Danny a beer.

"Thanks dad"

Frank then sat down next to Danny and asked "what's wrong Danny?"

"Nothing" sighed Danny, when he caught Frank's look he sighed again and continued "dad… Jamie got up pretty bad when they didn't even find anything, I dread to think what could of happened if Jamie hadn't swallowed that memory stick".

"I know son, I never thought I'd see the day when I was thankful that Jamie was able to swallow things"

"Me either" agreed Danny, he remembered countless times when he got mad at Jamie for swallowing things, worried that Jamie could choke, but now he was so thankful Jamie was able to swallow almost anything. If Jamie hadn't been able to swallow that memory stick he would have lost another brother, and that was a thought Danny didn't want to think about. As Jamie's older brother it was his job to look after Jamie, and now looking at the bruises covering Jamie's face reminded Danny of his failure as Jamie's big brother. But when he saw the splint on Jamie's wrist he couldn't help but feel a little proud, Jamie had put up a fight, maybe all the fighting he, Joe and Jamie had done while growing up had been worth it. But then Danny remembered Jamie saying there was two guys beating him up, his hands clenched into fists, two against one, he was surprised Jamie hadn't been hurt worse.

Danny came out of his thoughts when he saw his boys heading inside to play on their Nintendo, he noticed his dad had already gone back inside, Danny was about to follow them when he saw Jamie was still outside. He watched as Jamie bent down slowly and awkwardly to pick up the basketball, and then Jamie tried to shoot the ball through the hoop, but Jamie must have jarred his tender ribs, the ball missed the hoop and Jamie groaned as he doubled over. Danny was already out of his chair and rushing over to Jamie.

"What were you thinking kid?" asked Danny as he put a hand on Jamie's neck and squeezed it gently to help Jamie ground himself against the pain. When Jamie's breathing had evened out and Jamie had stood himself up a little straighter he looked at Danny and said "I didn't think it would hurt this much"

Danny shook his head "and you graduated Harvard"

"Shut up Danny" huffed Jamie,

"Come on kid" Danny said as he guided Jamie to the low wall by the grass, Jamie seemed surprised that Danny didn't comment on him telling Danny to shut up, like he usually did.

"What no snarky comment like you usually say when I tell you to shut up?"

"Nah, I thought I'd lay off this once seeing as your hurt"

"Hasn't stopped you before" replied Jamie as he looked out at the setting sun,

Danny looked sideways at Jamie and smiled sadly, "yeah but you've never been beaten up by a guy in with big crime family before".

"Yeah well I've done what OCCB wanted and so my undercover stint is over and done with, so you don't need to worry anymore"

Danny looked away from Jamie, he knew the memory stick wasn't enough to arrest those assholes and he also knew OCCB would approach Jamie sooner or later to help bring down the Sanfino's, but for now he would let Jamie believe he had finished with Noble and his family. He knew Jamie could walk away if he wanted but he was a Reagan, so if OCCB came back to him, Danny knew Jamie would go back undercover.

Jamie then made to stand up, but his ribs protested again. "Geez kid are you trying to send yourself to a hospital?" complained Danny, as he rubbed circles up and down Jamie's back to help with the pain and helping Jamie to get his breathing under control again.

"Guess my… ribs… must be… really…. Tender to… night" wheezed Jamie,

"Nothing to do with trying to play basketball by any chance?" smirked Danny,

"Or… reminiscing… of my… gift wh…ile growing… up?"

Danny laughed but said "stop trying to talk, you need to sort your breathing out"

"…bossy…"

"Jamie! I'm serious -"

"So… am… I"

"Jamie! Stop talking!"

Jamie grinned up at Danny, who just shook his head despairingly at Jamie.

"What am I gonna do with you kid huh?"

Jamie didn't reply and had his head down, "kid you ok?"

Jamie looked back up at Danny and wheezed "first… you want… me to… shut up… then… you want… me to…talk back…could you… make your…mind up? You're… giving me… a head…ache!"

"Hey watch it kid! If you weren't sporting tender ribs I'd hit you for that!" Jamie just smirked at Danny as his breathing began to return to normal "and you know that" continued Danny,

"Well you are my brother" replied Jamie, Danny smiled until Jamie added "unfortunately"

Danny put on a mock serious face when he said "well I've had to put up with you! At least I didn't swallow your favourite collection!"

"Oh please don't start that again!" groaned Jamie,

Danny smiled and said "come on we'd better go back in before they send out a search party. Now get up _slowly_"

Jamie then begun to get up so slowly Danny found it hard seeing is Jamie was actually moving, "oh come on kid I didn't mean _that slow_!"

"Well you said slowly! I didn't know what type of slow you wanted"

"Smartass! Kid that's how fast Grandpa moves when he just wakes up"

"I wouldn't let Grandpa hear you say that"

"Well he's not here and you're not gonna tell him"

Jamie smirked at Danny "kid… you're not gonna tell him are you?"

"Maybe, maybe not"

"Jamie!"

"OK Ok! I won't tell him!"

"Good"

The two brothers then walked side by side back into the house; Danny had an arm around Jamie's shoulders, if anyone asked he would say he was helping Jamie not pull on his ribs again. But really it was to reassure himself Jamie was ok and this hadn't all been a dream when Jamie had really been killed by Tesla. Danny vowed, if he ever met Tesla, Tesla would regret the day he was born, because _no one_ messed with Jamie, well except for him, but he was Jamie's brother so it was allowed because he wouldn't beat Jamie up to the point like this. When growing up if he even caused Jamie to bleed he apologized and did Jamie's chores for a day, but if someone beat Jamie up like Tesla had done, well more fool them because they would then have Danny Reagan after them, and that would be no pretty sight.


	16. Collateral Damage

Jamie was now safe; his time with the lowest of the low New York could offer was done. But it didn't exactly end as calmly as Danny would have liked. Oh no! Jamie had to have a hit placed on his head didn't he? Danny sighed to himself, that kid could never do things by half!

Danny wanted to throttle someone, mainly the Detective in charge of the case Jamie was working undercover for. To be fair, Danny had to admit it wasn't the guy's fault, who could imagine a crime family sending a lawyer to a police station to defend a guy they wanted to torture for information on the whereabouts of that mob chick… what was her name? Oh yeah Bianca.

And when Danny heard Jamie wanted to help that guy Noble. He _really_ wanted to knock some sense into his younger brother; Jamie was a too nice of person for his own good. Danny shuddered to think what could of happened if Jamie hadn't been 'arrested' when he was. Danny would have been down another brother. What kind of an older brother was he? He should be looking out for his younger siblings, it was times like these where Danny wished Jamie had stayed in Law, yes Jamie may have been miserable doing his job, but he would be _safe_.

So Danny found himself at a bar sat next to Jamie drinking a beer and trying to quiet his thoughts on what could have happened.

Jamie knew what Danny was thinking about, Danny's face had his worry written all over it. Jamie hated worrying his family; it wasn't like he asked to have a hit on him! He didn't even ask to save Noble all those months ago in that bar! But it all happened nonetheless.

Jamie sighed and said "go on you can say it"

Danny looked up at Jamie and replied with "what?"

"Look I know you must be dying to say 'I told you so', so go on, say it"

"I'm not gonna say it, because I wasn't going to"

"What were you thinking then?"

Danny looked at Jamie's expecting gaze and sighed "I was thinking I wished you'd stayed in Law"

"Why?"

"Uh, because it's _safer_" said Danny matter of factly, he was not expecting Jamie's answer.

"Not necessarily"

"It _is_ safer because one I don't see lawyers carrying a gun and two having to avoid being shot at!"

"Are you forgetting what happened to Erin last year? And what about that doucebag lawyer who was stabbed a few weeks ago and-"

"OK!" interrupted Danny "I get your point"

Jamie smiled as he drank his beer, pleased he had won today's argument. Danny was brooding about what Jamie had said, again he was reminded about another failure, last year he didn't think Dick Reed would go after Erin. That was so _stupid_ of him! How he not think that asshole would go after Erin, if Frank had been a minute late what would have happened to Erin?

Danny hated the sombre mood now surrounding him and Jamie, so to try and lighten the mood he said "this really wasn't your year was it kid?"

Jamie smirked and replied "no it certainly wasn't!"

"You get shoved down some stairs, get beat up by a mob guy, almost get tortured by that Uncle Phil, almost get blown up saving a baby and then getting a hit put out on you! You had one heck of a year kid"

"I don't know which one sounds less dangerous, maybe saving the baby seeing as I didn't get injured then unlike going down the stairs"

Danny then looked serious and said "and what was that by the way? Running into a burning building with total disregard to your safety!"

"There was a baby!" defended Jamie; he was surprised Danny didn't call him out on this sooner.

"Yes I know there was a baby! And I'm glad you saved its life but -"

"But what Danny? What would you rather? I save the baby's life or just leave it there"

"Damn it kid! I said I'm glad you saved the baby but what about next time huh?"

"What do you mean 'next time'? I'm a cop not a fire-fighter!"

"Yeah but what if you come across another burning building and rush in like you did this time, you might not be so lucky and might never come out of that building again!"

"Who says I'll go in the building?"

"I do, if someone says someone is trapped in the building, which there normally always is! I know you'll go in because you're too much of a good person to stand idly waiting for the fire-fighters to arrive!"

"So you're saying you want me to stop being a good person?"

"NO!" Danny exclaimed "what I'm saying is I don't want to lose another brother, I _can't_ lose you Jamie, I just can't!"

"Well you're not going to lose me Danny" Jamie stated, he meant every word; he would not put Danny through losing another brother.

"Don't sound so sure of yourself kid! Remember last year? The Blue Templar messed with the brakes on your car? Remember when Tesla could have very easily beaten you to death? What about when you had that hit on you? If dad and OCCB hadn't acted as quickly and gotten you off your beat when they did, what if you rounded a corner and got shot? I wouldn't be sat here with you right now that's for sure. So don't sound so damn positive when you tell me I won't lose you, because until you stop doing all these secret investigations you don't _know_ what could happen" Danny said sternly.

Jamie paused and then said "I am sorry Danny, I didn't think about that"

"Yeah well now you know"

Again the atmosphere headed to strained so Danny said "just don't accept any investigations that are secret or involve undercover work! At least for a couple of years because I swear you've knocked five years off my life these past two years!"

Jamie laughed "you got it! I think I might have knocked five years off my own life to!"

The brothers smiled at each other and clinked their beer bottles together, just another day in the lives of the Reagan brothers. Scaring each other until they resolve their problems by arguing, it seemed to be the only way the brothers let out how they were actually feeling. As Danny drank from his beer he looked up and said to Joe. _I know you're watching over us Joe, and I'm so thankful Jamie is sat next to me, don't worry, between us we won't let him join you and Ma until his ripe old age._


	17. Mother's Day

**A/N the words in italics are from the episode, I have added something extra in that didn't happen in the episode, but I wanted to give Danny an extra reason to patch things up with Jamie and also to hear what Jamie thinks about Danny without Jamie knowing Danny heard him. I hope that this added small story doesn't bother anyone and I'm sorry if it does! I have one more chapter and then once season 3 starts I should be adding more chapters. And thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed! **

"_What's your problem what hell did we ever do to you?" _Jamie asked annoyed,

"_Who's we? What the hell you talking about 'we' Jamie?" _Danny asked confused, when Jamie shook his head with a sad expression on his face, Danny then understood who Jamie was talking about._ "You're talking about Joe" _Danny stated, what had Joe got to do with any of this?

"_Let's just drop it" _Jamie almost pleaded as he shook his head, not wanting to talk about Joe; he knew he'd just lit a fuse with Danny.

As Jamie tried to walk away to keep the peace Danny pushed him back saying_ "nononono! You brought it up for a reason, you brought it up so we're gonna talk about it right now!"_

"_No" _Jamie replied firmly,

"_YES!" _demanded Danny,

"_OK. He used to call me up at school OK? Tell me about the job, how things were going-"_

"_Will you get to the point?" _Danny interrupted getting impatient to learn why Jamie brought Joe up.

"_You know the point Danny! You're a hard ass to me just like you were to him! No matter how hard he tried, no matter how well he did!" _Danny was in stunned silence even as Jamie continued as he tried again to walk away from Danny_ "he could never get you're respect"._

But again Danny shoved him back, but this time harder muttering_ "no walking out on me"_

Then their conversation turned into a shoving match, with Danny shoving Jamie really hard up against the lockers. Renzulli and Jackie then came rushing in and broke up the fight, Renzulli then pulled Jamie out of the room saying_ "you come on, XO just called, we've been reassigned to Jamie Street Station" _Danny then watched as Jamie and Renzulli went out, Jamie's words still ringing in his ears.

#######

Danny had stopped by the 12th as it was on his way back to the 8th from where he met up with Linda; Danny thought he might as well try to speak to Jamie before they went a while without speaking and made things worse. Danny nodded in greeting at the desk Sergeant; they had met a few times at crime scenes, as he entered the part of the prescient Jamie worked from.

The Sergeant looked up at him acknowledged Danny's greeting and said "I didn't think they called anyone"

Danny was confused and replied with "huh?"

"You know about what happened…" hinted the Sergeant, then realizing Danny still had no idea what he was talking about sighed and said "do you even know about what happened at Jamie Street Station?"

Danny shook his head and then remembered Renzulli talking to Jamie as they left the room Danny and Jamie had fought in. _"You come on, XO just called, we've been reassigned to Jamie Street Station"_

"Jamie" murmured Danny, piecing together what the Sergeant had said and where Renzulli had said he and Jamie were being reassigned to. "What happened at Jamie Street Station?"

"Sergeant Renzulli and Officer Reagan spotted someone carrying a gun; Renzulli went over the question the guy and the guy panicked Reagan was coming up behind him just in case he tried to make a run for it. Which he did, good thinking on Reagan's part"

Danny's pride at the quick thinking done by Jaime disappeared when he remembered something had happened and it involved Jamie. "Then what?" asked Danny with a desperate edge.

The Sergeant gave him an apologetic look for taking to so long to tell Danny what happened, "the guy pulled out his gun as he moved backwards, from the corner of his eye he saw Reagan approaching him and for some reason swung his gun around thinking it might scare Reagan off, he ended up hitting Reagan"

At Danny's panicked look the Sergeant said "don't worry! Not hit as in shot, the guy pistol whipped him" Danny relaxed somewhat, but still flinched in sympathy for Jamie, being pistol whipped may not be as dangerous as being shot, but it still could be bad, depending on how hard you had been hit.

"The guy then tried to continue running as Reagan fell to the floor, but Reagan grabbed hold of the guy's leg causing him to fall flat on his face. Two other Officers were there for the shift change over; they cuffed the guy when Renzulli checked on Reagan."

Danny then asked "if Jam – I mean Officer Reagan had been hurt why wasn't it called in?"

The Sergeant nodded in agreement, "I thought the same but apparently Reagan said he was fine and there was no point in causing a fuss seeing as the guy had been arrested."

Danny shook his head, just like Jamie to not want to cause a fuss. "So is he here?" asked Danny.

The Sergeant nodded, "that's why I thought Renzulli had decided to call you, he's in the locker room, and Renzulli's patching him up"

Again Danny looked confused, the Sergeant explained "when Reagan had been pistol whipped it caused a cut on his head which bled a little bit, it's not bad, by tomorrow you shouldn't be able to see it"

Danny nodded and continued to the locker room. He stopped just outside the room when he heard Renzulli and Jamie talking.

"I'm fine Sarge!"

"Yeah I know your fine but I'm still fixing you up!"

"I've had worse so you don't have to 'fix me up'!"

"Kid just shut up and sit still!" huffed Renzulli, Danny sniggered to himself, Jamie always put up a fuss when having cuts and scrapes looked at and now it seemed it was Renzulli's turn to deal with an annoyed Jamie.

"There, now you can get up" came Renzulli's voice, Danny was about to enter the room when he heard Jamie grunt.

"What's the matter kid? Where else are you hurt?"

"I'm fine Sarge; it's nothing to do with the guy pistol whipping me"

"What it is then?"

Jamie didn't reply, but Renzulli obviously saw Jamie moving stiffly when he stated "it's your back."

"Yeah"

"When you got pushed into the lockers?"

"Shoved more like" came Jamie's bitter reply. Danny hung his head in shame, he had hurt Jamie, Jamie didn't say it out loud but Danny knew.

"How did you end up shoving each other anyway?"

"I tried walking away"

"And? How did that justify shoving you into a locker?" asked Renzulli,

"I brought up Joe" mumbled Jamie,

"And it upset Danny" stated Renzulli,

"Yeah, I didn't even mean to bring Joe into it, I just slipped the word 'we' into the argument, Danny figured out I was talking about Joe and when I tried to walk away Danny wanted to know why I brought Joe up. Then one thing lead to another, we got angry and you know the rest".

"Yeah I know kid"

"He just gets me so _angry_, things were getting better between us, but he just gets on his high horse and basically tells me I'm wrong. I mean I can't do anything right, I'm always wrong and he's always right. I always thought he treated Joe more fairly, but when I was away at Law School, Joe would confide in me, mainly because I knew something was wrong and I got him to tell me. Just because Danny's the oldest and I'm the youngest doesn't mean he needs to keep putting me down to protect me. I never knew Joe felt the same." Danny could clearly hear the frustration in Jamie's voice and felt even guiltier. Last year after their argument at the dinner table when Danny had heard Frank talking to Jamie Danny had resolved to make things better, but he hadn't. And Jamie's last comment on Joe feeling the same sparked something in Danny's mind, what Jamie said earlier that day, he thought Jamie was just talking about Joe. _"You're a hard ass to me just like you were to him! No matter how hard he tried, no matter how well he did! He could never get you're respect"._ Now Danny realized Jamie talking about himself and Joe. What kind of a big brother was he? Making his younger brothers feel bad about themselves because of what he said to them.

During Danny's thoughts he missed what Renzulli said but he heard what Jamie said.

"It's like what I told grandpa, everyone treats Danny like he's made of armour and I'm made of toothpicks. Grandpa said that was nonsense, ok maybe it is for dad and grandpa, but with Danny he's always acting like he's waiting for me to mess up, so it feels like he keeps putting me down so he hopes I'll up and quit, so I don't hurt myself on the job. But I won't, I love what I do, and there's no way I'll quit."

"You're a good a cop Jamie, one of the best I've ever seen. I think you could go far"

"Well I wish someone could tell Danny that"

"No one needs to tell Danny that kid, you'll show him yourself by what you do"

"Thanks Sarge, Joe was always the one to boost my confidence and you've kinda taken his place. Sorry if that sounds kinda mushy"

"Nah its fine, we all need someone to look out for us"

Danny then turned away when his phone buzzed; it was a text from Jackie. As Danny left he now knew exactly how Jamie felt and it made him feel worse. Yes he and Erin argued but they were still close, Jamie had lost the sibling he was closest to and Danny putting him down even more since joining the NYPD and Jamie not having Joe to talk to must have made Jamie feel even more put down because he had no one to talk to. Danny now felt even more determined to build that bridge Linda was talking about, not just for him but for Jamie.


	18. 24th April 2012

**A/N I had made up Jamie's birthday and put it in April for the first chapter, this chapter is set between seasons 2 and 3 so it is after the episode **_**Mother's Day**_** unfortunately I didn't know different countries have mother's day in different months. I'm from the UK and we have mother's day in March so this chapter follows on from the episode in the timeline I made, but I didn't know in the US mother's day is in May, so please just ignore the fact technically Jamie's birthday would have already happened before the last episode of season 2. Thank you all for staying with this story and reviewing it, once season 3 starts and an episode is aired that I think I could write a brotherly moment between Danny and Jamie I will post that chapter a.s.a.p. (bear in mind here in the UK we are a few episodes behind when they are aired) BRING ON SEASON 3!**

The family had gathered to celebrate Jamie's 26th birthday, everyone was there apart from Jamie who had said he would be there at five thirty, but Renzulli wanted to go for a beer with him after their tour (that was Renzulli's present). Mother's day had been three weeks ago and Linda had noticed Danny had really tried not to start an argument with Jamie and the whole family noticed things were very peaceful between the brothers. Linda knew her telling Danny to build a new bridge with Jamie and Danny hearing how Jamie felt (Danny had told her and admitted she was right) had really motivated Danny to make peace with his youngest brother. Instead of making a comment about what Jamie had done on a beat Danny would joke with Jamie, and the past three weeks they would meet up at a bar and they would compare their days on the job and see who had the funniest story of what they had seen/what had happened to them. It was safe to say Jamie won most of the time as being on the beat meant he walked the streets most of the day and sometimes saw really odd things. Once Danny had tried to say something that he had seen on his beats was better than what Jamie had said, Jamie then said a kid had painted him and Renzulli on the shutters of a shop, Danny didn't believe him and so Jamie took him to the shop and sure enough there was Jamie and Renzulli painted on the shutters.

Danny was stood in the doorway of the dining room watching as Nikki and the boys attempted to cover Jamie's eyes just as he walked through the front door, Nikki took his coat as the boys tried to hold a tie around Jamie's head and eyes.

"What is going on?" said Jamie, not understanding where his niece and nephews had come from, Nikki and the boys had hidden by the front door, not even giving Jamie a chance to announce himself.

"It's a surprise Uncle Jamie!" cried Sean in anticipation of Jamie's reaction to the decorations in the dining room.

"OK now I'm worried" replied Jamie good naturally,

"You should be the boys and Uncle Danny did most of the planning" said Nikki,

"Now I'm _really_ worried"

"Why are you worried about what we've done Uncle Jamie?" Asked Jack confused,

"Well I'm not exactly worried about what you and Sean have done Jack, I'm just worried what your dad has done" said Jamie as he blindly moved his hands in front of him, he had crouched down as well so the boys could easily hold the tie behind his head.

"Hey!" protested Danny "why are you so worried about what I may have done?"

Jamie's head moved towards where he heard Danny's voice coming from, "well wouldn't you be worried if yourself had planned a surprise?" smiled Jamie,

Danny paused for a moment considering what Jamie had said and replied "yeah I guess you've got a point there"

Nikki, the boys and Jamie burst into laughter and Danny soon joined them. Linda then entered the living room and saw Jamie crouched down with her sons holding a tie around his head and Nikki guiding Jamie around the furniture and she asked "Jamie what are you doing?"

"Oh hey Linda" Jamie waved in the general direction he believed Linda was and continued "the boys and Nikki jumped me as I just came through the front door"

"You three is that any way to treat your Uncle on his birthday?" asked Linda

"We wanted to keep it a surprise for him" said Sean,

Linda turned to Danny and said "You could of helped him!" as she gently slapped his shoulder,

"He's a cop! He can take care of himself!"

"Uh guys _'he'_ is right here!" interrupted Jamie, "and its ok Linda, at least letting them blindfold me means I won't come into the room when everyone isn't _ready yet_" the last words were directed at Danny.

"Hey! Did you have to bring that up Jamie!" protested Danny, he hadn't been able to live down entering the dining room before the family had finished preparing for his birthday, his boys had been quite put out.

"Well everything is ready" said Linda, "boys you can lift the blindfold off your Uncle"

"Not yet mom, we'll do that once we get to the dining room" said Jack,

Linda went back to the dining room, Jamie knew Danny would be looking disgruntled at being reminded of what happened on his birthday so Jamie was smirking at Danny, when Jamie and the boys were passing Danny, Danny stuck out his foot and said "oops my bad! My foot slipped!"

Jamie only stumbled; Nikki helped keep him upright glaring at Danny,

"Dad! You can't be mean to Uncle Jamie today!" cried Jack,

"What! And you three making your Uncle Jamie bend down to keep a blindfold on him isn't mean?"

"It's to keep the _surprise_ dad" replied Sean in a matter-of-fact tone,

Jamie just sniggered at having his nephews come to his defence and the childish way Danny defended himself against his sons and niece.

#######

After dinner Jamie and Danny were sat on the bottom stair talking about old family get-togethers, when Danny remembered something he was going to give to Jamie.

Out of his pocket he pulled out an old photograph of him, Joe and Jamie on Jamie's 6th birthday, he handed it to Jamie who replied "thanks Danny" and he smiled, he, Danny and Joe were stood underneath a banner that read _HAPPY 6__TH__ BIRTHDAY JAMIE!_ Well 16 year old Danny and 11 year old Joe were stood underneath the banner, Jamie on the other hand had been hoisted up by Danny and was being held against Danny's chest with his feet dangling, and Joe was ruffling his hair while laughing.

"I meant to make a photo album for you but just never got round to it, so when I found this photo I thought I'd give it to you" said Danny,

Jamie smiled and then he was suddenly reminded of something he started when he was 7, Jamie then scrambled to his feet and rushed upstairs with a confused and concerned Danny following him.

Danny entered Jamie's old bedroom and saw Jamie by his old wardrobe hunting around the bottom of it.

"Er what are you doing kid?" asked Danny,

"Looking for this" said Jamie as he pulled out a book and sat on his bed and put it on the bed next to him,

"A book? The photo reminded you of a book" asked a surprised Danny as he sat next to the book between him and Jamie,

Jamie smiled and said "not just the book, but what's inside it" Jamie opened the book and it turned out to be a photo album of the Reagan siblings growing up.

"Why was it in your wardrobe?" asked Danny,

"I started to gather the photos when I was 7 and then I told Joe about what I was doing and he helped me"

"So wait the scrapbook you asked Joe to help you put the photos from your school camping trip, this is the scrapbook?"

"Yeah" nodded Jamie "and the reason why I never asked you to help was because I had planned to finish it and give it to you for your 25th birthday, but over time Joe and I forgot about it"

Danny then felt ashamed, that night after Jamie's return Danny had complained to Joe about Jamie's welcome home only because he felt left out, this had sparked of all their arguments, so it really was all his fault.

Jamie seemed to know what Danny was thinking "it wasn't all your fault Danny. It just happened"

Danny smiled gratefully at Jamie who smiled in return. Jamie handed Danny the photo album and together they looked through it. On the inside of the front cover 7 year old Jamie had written: _To Danny, happy 25__th__ birthday! (Although right now you're still 17) I hope you enjoy looking back through these photos, love your youngest brother Jamie (Joe also helped getting the photos)_

Jamie had put photos of all four of them growing up in it and Danny was very grateful for it, the last entry of photos was Joe's Academy graduation, which was just before Danny's 25th birthday, but soon after Joe's graduation Danny was deployed by the Marines and after he came home Jamie had forgotten about the album. Danny noticed there was a couple of pages left until the album would be full, so he grabbed Jamie's wrist and took him downstairs and asked Linda to take a photo of them under the banner (decorated by the kids and secretly Danny) which read _HAPPY 26__TH__ BIRTHDAY JAMIE!_

Jamie turned to Danny and asked "what was that for?"

"The album kid" replied Danny, the album may have been 11 years late but it didn't mean Danny didn't treasure it, when he got home he showed it to Linda, he then printed off the photos he and Linda took of Jamie's Academy graduation and put them in the album, he had also taken a copy of the photo he had given Jamie and placed it next to the one Linda took of him and Jamie that night. He made a copy of that photo as well and the next day when Jamie came over he gave it to Jamie. He also showed Jamie the photos he had added to the album; Jamie had been touched Danny had added his graduation photos.

Danny knew what Jamie was thinking and said "we've got five pages to fill in that album kid, you think we should add some of Erin?"

Jamie laughed and said "yeah otherwise she'll feel left out" Jamie then grabbed a pen and added to the inscription he had written when he was 7, he added _sorry its 11 years late, but I hope it reminds you if the good times we Reagan siblings had, and hope we have many more_. He then dated it and handed it back to Danny.

Danny read the inscription and said while clinking his beer bottle to Jamie's "here's to memories past, present and future", that night Jamie and Danny showed the album to Jack and Sean who thoroughly enjoyed listening to their dad's and Uncle's storied behind the photos.


End file.
